Need A Back Pat?

4 mins read

I know I come off harsh everytime I lay down my thesis on giving back pats.


Everyone wants to be stroked about how good they are, great they are doing and how everything is going to be alright. It worked when we fell down and scraped a knee in elementary school but I am not sorry to say, it won’t work now – as an adult.

Working in the airport operation field for 7 years I was always reminded about my leadership style. It went something like this.

“Stacy is mean”

“Stacy pays attention to the smallest detail”

“Stacy’s expectations are way too high”

I look back and laugh because I knew who I was dealing with. Mostly children, disguised as adult working men and women. The gossip, the complaining, ….the not taking responsibility. All of it is a shame.

Now that I am full-time in my own business of leading people towards their freedom, I am happy I am who I am.

Maybe it was the way I was raised. I am not sure. But my intention is to give people the tools that shifts a mindset from weak to powerful.

When you do something, don’t do it for validation or high fives. Do it because it needs to be done and it moves you closer to a goal. When you wait for praise and don’t receive it ..then you will not think that you are any good or the work you’ve done was any good. When you have your own feel good / self-praise technique then you will keep doing until you reach that goal.

1: Other people’s opinions aren’t worth squat.

I know and understand there are people that you look up to. But they are busy being productive with their own thing… if you sit and wait for validation from them then you may be waiting for an extremely debilitating time causing you to do less and feel inferior to them.

2: Everything isn’t going to be honey, peaches and cream

Everything that you touch, do, and/or say isn’t going to be easy. It takes guts to put something out there and be open to criticism. It takes a level of vulnerability to put yourself out there – so why not just understand that some of it is going to be tough but do it anyway?

3. Have a solid support system

Whether a friend, coach, mentor, spouse, colleague or lover ensure that you create a well defined support system to hold you accountable not just to tell you all the good things that your ego wants to hear.

Back pats are the egos friend. I want you to be able to do without expecting smiles and cheers because in this world there may not be any but that shouldn’t stop you or shouldn’t be the reason you are doing it in the first place.

Being a Comfort Killer increases your level of BeastHood. and develops your take no shit mindset.

Go out there and kill whatever comfort is laying dormant in you today! If you need help, start with these 5 things.


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